"That is a very good question. Some days I can actually remember. Let's see... today... Yes! I am Nicodemus! Nicodomus! Nicodimus! Nico-nico-kukodamus! Ha ha ha!"

"Thou art addressing Nicodemus."

"To go absolutely mad! For that is indeed what is happening! My magic no longer works! Every time I attempt to change something into a drake, it only becomes a newt! Oh, newty-wewty scooty-booty!" He speaks to an imaginary creature beside him. "Who asked thee? Away with thee!" He turns to you. "Sorry. That bloody newt keeps trying to undermine my conversation. Anyway... I suppose I can sell thee some reagents, potions, or spells. I must make a living somecow. I mean somehow! That was Some Cow! Ha ha ha!"

"Why, to perform magic! It seems that the disturbance in the ether has been repaired! I can also sell thee some reagents or spells."

"Magic? What magic!? All the magic in the world has gone completely topsy-turvy! Oh, blurpsy-flurpsy! Ha ha ha! Those are silly words, are they not? 'Tis a pity they are not magical! Ha ha ha!"

"The ether is repaired. The mages of the world are indebted to thee."

"Dost thou wish to buy some spells?"

"Dost thou wish to buy some reagents?"

"Potions? What makes thee think I have potions? Art thou sure thou dost not want Lotions? I certainly have lotions! Otions, slotions, motions, votions! Ha ha ha! Wait! Oh, yes! I do have potions! I told thee so, didn't I! Let us see... I have this black potion here. I am not sure what it does exactly, but I am quite sure it turns one invisible.

"Yes, I have potions. Well, I have this black one. It is an invisibility potion.

"Dost thou want it for, say, 75 gold?"

"Timey Limey Lord? Hmmm. I don't know him. Wait! Yes I do. Does he have a big black mustache and three pairs of pants? No! I know who he is. He's the fellow who came to fix my sundial the other day, right?"

"I thought so! Tell him that bloody thing still doesn't work! It gives me three shadows! Dadows badows whoopeee! Ha ha ha!"

"He's not? Hmmm. Then he must be the man I am not thinking of!"

"Wait! I remember! He is my Knight's Bridge opponent! We play on my Knight's Bridge court just north of mine house."

"I have not spoken to the Time Lord in months! How is the old codger? Give him my regards. Tell him I miss our Knight's Bridge games!"

"'Tis a life-size board game. I have a book around here somewhere which contains the rules."

"Yes, I just enchanted it."

"This Time Lord told thee what? An hourglass! I have no blinking hourglass! Glassy wassy hoursplassy! Ha ha ha! Wait! An enchanted hourglass? That does ring a bell. Clang Clang Clang! Ha ha ha! Wait! I remember. I had an hourglass. I sold it. To a gypsy. Or was it an antique dealer? I think I might have sold it to a gypsy antique dealer in Britain. Or Paws. Somewhere on that side of the land. But if my memory serves me correctly, that hourglass used up its enchantment, which is why I sold it. I suppose if the ether is repaired, I could possibly re-enchant it. Bring it to me and we'll see what we can do. I know! We can play a rousing game of chess! But only if I can deal at all times. I do not trust thee."

"Mine old hourglass! Of course I remember it! I believe I sold it to an antique dealer in Paws. I might be able to re-enchant it if thou wouldst bring it to me."

"What's this? An hourglass of some kind? Wait! It looks vaguely familiar! Thief!! This is mine hourglass! I have been looking for it for years! Where didst thou get it, scoundrel? I shall turn thee into a duck!"

Nicodemus intones some spell and points at you, but nothing happens.

"Zounds! Thou art no more a quacker than I am. Nothing works anymore. Quacker slacker wacker flacker! Ha ha ha!"

"Mine old hourglass! I suppose I could revitalize the enchantment upon it."

"Enchant? Thou dost want me to enchant this wretched thing? Thou must have the brain of a toad! Toady woady bloady coady! Ha ha ha!

"Do me a favor, Mister Avatar. Repair the blinking ether, wilt thou? Do that and I can enchant thy glourblass. I mean floursass. I mean hourglass. Tell that to thy 'Time Lord'. Thou canst also tell him he needs a bath."

"I would be most happy to enchant the hourglass. After freeing the ether, I am most indebted to thee. Let me see it..."

Nicodemus takes the hourglass and studies it a moment. He sets it on a table and closes his eyes, concentrating. He intones a few words, throws some reagents into the air, and passes his hand over the artifact.

"That should do it." He hands the hourglass back to you.

"Where is it? Thou dost not have the hourglass!"

"Bye bye booby booby bye bye! Ha ha ha!" END

"Goodbye, AVATAR." END