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NPC 113:
Smith, the Wise-Aleck, Talking Horse[+bye +job +name]
You see a horse. "What else did you expect to see?"
"What now, <AvatarName>?" asks Smith.
name{
"Yes, I have a name."
[-name]
"Scoundrel! When thou art asked thy name, thou shouldst respond politely and accurately! The Avatar has just asked thee for -thy- name."
"My name? You can call me what you want, but I will only respond to Smith."
}[+Smith +-thy- name]
-thy- name{
"My name? You can call me what you want, but I will only respond to Smith."
}[+Smith --thy- name]
job{
"Job? -Job-? I'm a horse, what kind of job could I have?" He looks off in the distance. "I can see it now: Smith -- Baker extraordinaire.
"Actually, I have gotten quite good at interior decorating. See how I arranged my abode? You like it, don't you?"
yes{
"Good. I will let you continue talking to me then! Which do you prefer, my living room or my bedroom?"
[+bedroom +living room]
}else{
"That's funny, I feel the same way about you!" END
}
}
bedroom|living room{
"You always did have bad taste!"
}[-bedroom -living room]
Smith{
"Yep, that's what I told you to call me. Oh, I get it! You <still want|want> something from me, don't you?
yes{
"I thought as much. You've always been a selfish one. What do you want? Now, let's see... Money? Advice?
Happiness? No, you usually want a clue of some sort, don't you. Of course, you may have become altruistic over the past 200 years....
"I know! You want to save Britannia!"
[+to save Britannia +happiness +a clue +advice +money]
}else{
"Then what are you talking to me for?" END
}
}
money{
"From a horse? Right! Like I've got some to give you."
}[-to save Britannia -happiness -a clue -advice -money]
advice{
"Don't talk to horses!" END
}
happiness{
"Who doesn't?"
}[-to save Britannia -happiness -a clue -advice -money]
to save Britannia{
"You really expect me to believe that? You're just in this for the money."
}[-to save Britannia -happiness -a clue -advice -money]
a clue{
"Now we're getting to the nitty-gritty. O.K., I'll give you a clue, but what's in it for me? Let me guess. Money? Love? No, knowing you it's probably nothing. With any luck, you'll go away and leave me alone."
}[-to save Britannia -happiness -a clue -advice -money +will not make you glue +nothing +love +money]
nothing{
"I've already got that!" END
}
money{
"Sure! Like I have a use for that!" END
}
love{
"Sorry, I don't get into that." END
}
will not make you glue{
"Threats, huh? And how do you expect me to respond to that? With courtesy and open hooves?
"Tell you what: you go away and leave me alone, and I'll tell you a clue. Fair?"
yes{
"Now we're talking! Done deal. Here we go." He checks around to make sure no else is within earshot. "The gargoyles," he pauses, "are not evil.
"And Rasputin is a mean Martian. There, that's it! Now get!" END
}else{
"Fine. I'm not going to talk to you anyway!" END
}
}[-will not make you glue]
bye{
"That's just fine. I was getting tired of you anyway."
<Iolo> "Why, how dare thou speakest to the Avatar in that manner, Smith!"
"And who are you? My master?"
<Iolo> "Why, as a matter of fact..."
"Sure, whatever."
}